I’m Helina Metsik.

I save peoples relationships.

My counselling style

Sex is not one-size-fits-all. And neither are relationships.

I firmly believe that relationships are as unique as the individuals within them. Sure, you might have found a wonderful and compatible partner, but that doesn't mean your needs align perfectly. But here's the silver lining: our differences are what keep things interesting. Imagine a world without variety – pretty bland, right?

🌶 If you're seeking personalized solutions that recognize your struggles, strengths and situation, then I'm your go-to professional.

🌶🌶I'm all about tailoring solutions to your specific needs within your personal context. We'll start by identifying your unique sexual and relational struggles, uncovering your signature strengths, and addressing any limiting beliefs. From there, we'll craft a SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) action plan that's designed just for you.

🌶🌶🌶My approach is like a custom recipe, seasoned with years of academic training, research, personal experiences, and private practice. While I can't spill all the secrets, here are the main ingredients that make up my counselling style:

  • As part of my sex counselling practice, I incorporate a strength-based approach, revolutionising the way we perceive personal growth. Say goodbye to the traditional focus on dysfunctions, limitations and lacks. Strength-based approach shifts focus on, well, strengths. I believe that individuals and couples have often overlooked strengths and untapped potential for growth and fulfilment.

    Through discovering and leveraging your unique strengths, I guide you in accessing, maximising and effectively using a rich reserve of inner resources that you might not even know you possess. This process of unlocking your personal strengths can be very empowering, and will in turn cultivate a deep sense of agency, authenticity and personal accountability. Building upon these strengths, we'll construct a plan of action tailored to achieve tangible goals and desired outcomes.

  • As a counsellor who prioritises solution-focused strategies, our sessions begin by helping you envision a future where the problem is already resolved or the situation is significantly improved. Together we identify where you are compared to where you envision yourself to be. We then decide what is the best sustainable solution to your specific circumstance and map a plan of action to bridge that gap.

    By placing a strong emphasis on your inherent skills, strengths, and resources, I encourage you to take an active role in finding solutions, course-correcting and maintaining a wanted direction in your personal and private life. This approach not only helps you overcome current obstacles but also equips you with the necessary tools to navigate potential future challenges.

  • Trauma informed care prioritises and promotes confidentiality, safety, agency, collaboration, trust, and empowerment.

    As a trauma informed sex counsellor, I do not work directly on processing trauma, but I do recognise the impact that certain experiences might have, and take your vulnerabilities and sensitivity into careful consideration during our sessions, to offer you care, support and guidance that best fits your needs, preferences and current circumstances.

  • Intersystem approach is a framework that recognises that there are several factors involved in the creation and maintenance of the problem. An example of the factors at play are:

    • your unique biological and psychological quirks

    • relationship dynamics

    • family-of-origin influence

    • contextual factors such as socioeconomic status, religion, and culture.

    By using intersystem approach, I gain a better understanding of the unique level of difficulty of each client and use this insight to tailor the sessions specifically for their current needs and circumstances.

FAQs

  • I provide online sex counselling services to individuals, couples, polycules worldwide. Through secure and confidential video sessions, I offer support and guidance to individuals seeking assistance with various aspects of their personal, sexual and relational well-being.

  • Nope, counselling isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. It's for individuals ready to do some soul-searching and make positive changes in their lives. It requires:

    (1) willingness to examine your own limiting beliefs; and

    (2) readiness to step out of established patterns of behaviour, actively creating and maintaining better, more aligned habits.

    Do you possess willingness and readiness to take your relationships to the next level?

  • Yes! I am a certified sex counsellor.

    I have an advanced training in Sex Counselling from AISPA (Italian Association of Applied Sexology and Psychology) on top of a BSc in Psychology from Milan Catholic University of The Sacred Heart.

    I am in training to work gender based violence (GBV) and intimate partner violence (IPV) cases. Part of this training is provided by Work With Perpetrators European Network.

    Other than that, I am a research assistant for Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, with whom I am developing some pretty cool scales to measure relationship security and erotic exploration.

  • Therapy and counselling are professional interventions, provided by certified experts.

    Therapy is a long-term setting that focuses on dissecting your past to heal your present. Therapy sessions can go on indefinitely, because healing takes time, depending on the complexity and depth of the individual's old and new micro and macro traumas and triggers.

    Counselling, on the other hand, is a shorter-term and issue specific approach that uses education, training and communication to overcome present day concerns that affect your day-to-day life and relationships. By focusing on clear problem areas, counselling aims to solve your problems in 4 to 10 sessions*, making progress from day one.

    Counselling and therapy both can be explorative, educational, transformative, and healing.

    *Disclaimer: The actual duration can vary widely depending on the nature and complexity of the issue presented.

  • Online counselling sessions are conducted via secure video platforms, allowing us to connect virtually regardless of location. Prior to our session, you'll receive detailed instructions on how to access the platform and prepare for our sessions together.

  • No, I do not offer face-to-face counselling sessions at this time. As a counsellor who travels extensively for workshops, seminars, and client engagements, I've found that online counselling provides the flexibility and accessibility that many of my clients appreciate.

  • Absolutely! I work with clients from around the globe, if you have access to a stable internet connection and a private space for our sessions, we can work together.

  • Before booking your first sex counselling session, here are a few things to keep in mind:

    • Confidentiality: Anything discussed in our sessions is strictly confidential.

    • Open Communication: Feel free to share as much or as little as you're comfortable with. I adapt my approach specifically for your pace and preferences.

    • Floor is not lava: There is no wrong moves that you can make here. Tell me all your flaws, fears and quirks, and let me love and support you anyway. We're here to work together on your dreams.

    • You Matter: Your feelings, experiences, and goals are valid and will be at the forefront of our sessions.

    • Feedback: If you have concerns, specific requests, or ideas for our sessions, please share! Your feedback helps me help you better! 🚀🎯

  • Our first session is all about getting to know each other.

    In the first half, we'll chat about your goals, what brought you here, and any concerns you might have, which gives me some important context about who you are.

    The second half of the first session is aimed at identifying and setting goals so that we can start to map out where you are, where you want to be, and what are the ways to get there. I’ll close the session by assigning homework or practical exercises.

    See you in the session! 🎉

  • My online counselling sessions with individual clients are 60 minutes long. Online counselling sessions with couples and polycules last 90 minutes. I do not offer face-to-face sessions.

  • One! Just one session is enough to start mapping out your desired direction. Yes, it really takes just one session to transform the way you think about your pleasure and relationships.

    However, knowing better doesn’t automatically transform into doing better. Over the next 4-6 sessions I help you to not only visualize yourself as main character, but to take action and build your signature strengths.

  • All appointments cancelled with 24 hour notice before the scheduled appointment are eligible to be rescheduled or refunded.

    Please note that you can reschedule your appointment with no additional cost, while all refunds are subject to a 10% deduction to cover payment processing fees.

    Cancellations made within the 24-hour timeframe are non-refundable.